Today is Monday, March 30th. I feel ”lost in the wilderness.”
Perhaps because it’s just Monday, or maybe it’s the velvet gold mine inside of my soul. Maybe it’s my furry venus. I’m glad I’m surviving though, in today’s music world. Barely, but persevering.
I’ve been under the radar for years. It kind of upsets me. It’s a little discouraging sometimes, but no matter where I go, I pack them in, like tasty, little canned sardines, especially in Europe. Boy, do I love those salty herringlike fish!!!!
It puts a smile on my face to know that my honesty–my persistent efforts in verse and music–can change the lives of so many souls: Confused, disorientated, and stuck in their own little abyss, as we all seem to be in these days.
Glad I can pull you out.
Happy you guys pull me out, too.
Making some people happy is enough for me. You can’t make everybody happy though. Growth is steady and slow and I am thankful and grateful for this. I realize this every morning I open my eyes. Sincerely.
I am very reachable, so mail me here at XXX if you all want to share life, feelings, everything or nothing. A simple hello can make my day shine.
For example, just recently a gentleman named Benjamin reached out to me. He touched me deeply. After reading his email I started to look deep within. Remembering feelings, sorrows, joys, life, the creative, my past and what it entails, the horrors, my mom and my dad and how they suffered, but found strength to bring me into this world to serve. To be all that I can for the world. For better or for worse. To appreciate my short time here in this wonderful, sometimes very mysterious world. To continue the war on passion and compassion for the arts and creativity–the only things that ever really mattered to me. It was all I ever had, and still have. It’s all I witnessed when I was younger.
With his permission, I’d like to share with you guys what he wrote.
Benjamin left me with this:
Open Memories for Open Minds
Keith, I have had a life expierence when I was younger and I watched a friend of mine Overdose on drugs. I had a dream about it and what it was like through his eyes and I wrote what I dreamt. If at all possible I was wondering if you could spare a few minutes of the ride we call life to read into the memory of a simple man and reply with your thoughts. I have tried to sing this sitting with my acoustic, but the emotions overwhelm me everytime. How do you bare the weight and sing out your emotions without letting them over take you? From one unknown to someone worldly known, any words would be of great appreciation and encouragement. Thanks, with sincere respect for Courage! Benjamin.
The verse Benjamin wrote:
~WINGS BENEATH THE VEIN~I look upon the path I tread, wondering what lies ahead.What has brought me here, to this edge of fear?Residing in this desolation, a vast plain of imaginationLet me transcend to something else.A voice is calling me from a distance.The sound is so far away.Hot and cold flashes begin to rush over me.I feel like I am flying.I can see my parents, but I can’t touch them.My god what has happened to me.I can’t move at all.I feel the needle pierce my arm.Once again I feel calm, shrouded by shadows.I have been here before.So this is what it’s like to mainline.What a rush, but at what cost.I hear music, and see colors.All of which are in front of me.It’s like I am watching a movie at the drive-in.But I am the only one in the parking lot.The screen begins to fade.I feel sick, and it’s getting real cold.Suddenly, I awake.Only to see a man, who looks like a doctor, standing over me.I can’t stop shaking.Where did the movie go?I don’t want to be here, let me go.I just want to fly again.I hear them talking.Everything’s going to be alright.They aren’t looking at me.What’s going on?I scream for my mother.But all is silent.I can see her she’s right in front of me.Why are you crying?My flesh begins to burn.The lights grow dim.So hot; but at the same time so cold.I’m falling.I can’t stop myself.I am screaming for help.Nothing, NOTHING, is happening.Am I dying.All it was; was one hit.It’s just one fucking time.This can’t happen to me.I am only 14 yrs. old.Why did this have to happen?Family, please forgive me for what I have done.I won’t be gone long.I need you all here.How do I get home?How do I get out of this?Can I change this?God help me.I am on bended knee.Please help me get home.I am begging you.Please release me to the body.Mother, show me how to get home.I see it, i’m coming.Don’t leave me.I can see your wings.I am back in the hospital.I can hear the doctor again.His voice is as clear as day.“I’m sorry there’s nothing more I can do”.Crying is the last thing I ever heard.Benjamin M. Herman
And thank you all for touching my foxy soul.
Keith Caputo
On February 21, my friend SWK and I had the privilege to witness Antony and the Johnsons perform an extremely inviting and heartbreaking set with his fantastic/dazzling band at Town Hall.
